On Being a Teen Mom

 
I found out I was pregnant when I was 18 years old. When I was 19 I gave birth to a handsome and very yummy gummy bear, Nico Isaac Alemán.  There is no end to my love for him or my husband; I could not imagine my life without them. That being said...

There is nothing glamorous about being a teenage mother. There is nothing cool about the ominous uncertainty we face. In fact, the only thing we can be certain of, is that we have absolutely NO IDEA what we are doing. No amount of articles can prepare a person for being pooped on in their favorite shirt, or tell you what to do when your 2 year old is screaming as you walk through isle after endless isle at the grocery store, cheerio necklace polished off long ago, or how to scoop something out of his mouth without having your finger ripped off. When you have a child between the ages of 15 and 19, you find yourself in an awkward position between two contrasting worlds. 

We want the same things any young woman wants. To find love, to make life long friendships, to have fun, to discover who we're meant to be. We want the freedom to be able to make mistakes without being judged and scrutinized by the gaggle of people watching our every move from the moment we announce we're pregnant, or by those who think they are better than us because they didn't make the monumental "mistake" we did. 

At the same time, we also want everything a mother wants. We want our kids to be happy, healthy, and well rounded, with strong values and good behavior. Like older moms, we want to be able to give our little ones everything they deserve in life and more! We try to be the perfect mommy, and we get discouraged because the other moms seem to have it all figured out. 

In the place of perfection, we often find frustration. It is incredibly difficult to do something you don't know how to do. I some times find myself losing my patience with Nico, yelling at him when I don't mean to, longing for time to myself, or for something fun to do with my old friends. Instead, I struggle through the 5th tantrum of the day and think about how miraculous it is that I'm not bald from having my hair ripped out by his tiny hands. 

There is an intense desire to be understood. 

Being a teen mom can be lonely.

The other moms in our lives are older, many of them are married and planned for each one of their children. We don't have much in common with them besides the age of our kids. Sometimes, they are polite, nice even. They make small talk and give you good advice, but they don't try to schedule play date and they talk about real life amongst themselves because they assume we won't "get it." Sometimes, they look down on us for being younger, as if our circumstances somehow make us less of mother. 

Most of the girls our age are on a different page all together. They're also nice, and they think ours babies are super cute, but they don't invite us to hang out. They might assume we will eventually ask them to babysit, or that we're too busy for trips to the mall. Evidently, it's impossible to enjoy themselves at all around a baby that is not theirs. 

Dating is a forgotten pastime. It's weird to bring someone in to your baby's life who you aren't sure about, but that's not really a problem because there aren't many guys who are willing to date a girl with baby baggage. And even if you are married to/still with the father of your child, your relationship has changed in ways that no one really knows how to describe. The challenges of a serious monogamous relationship are many, and neither of you honestly realized how much work and time it needs to be nurtured and maintained. 

Nope. Nothing could have possibly prepared us for the reality of motherhood. 

Not even "Teen Mom". 

However, through all of that, the one thing that makes everything worth while is the little life that is forever intertwined with yours. That adorable little face that smiles at you every morning. That complicated mini person that is impossible to completely figure out. The giggles and tickles and "I love you's", make up for all the judgmental glances, rude remarks, and never-ending Saturday night Netflix marathons. For me there is nothing better than when Nico learns something knew or gives me a kiss; I just melt in to a goopey puddle of love every time! 

As a teen mom, my greatest accomplishment will always be my son.

My reward is watching him transform and evolve right before my eyes, from baby to man.

My advantage is being able to grow with him and having my whole life ahead of me to work towards my dreams, to show Nico that anything is possible as long as he decides it is. 

It's okay if I am the only person who takes me seriously.

It's okay if the other girls don't want to be friends.

And the other moms can think whatever they want. 

I am proud to be a teenage mom because it means that I was mature enough to make a difficult decision at a young age. I accepted the responsibility of my actions and I was wise enough to do the right thing.

To the other teen moms reading this today: 

Don't be too hard on yourself, you're doing the best you can. 

You are not alone. Someone out there understands. 

Oh, and no body's perfect ;)  

Yup, that's us :)

Welcome New Kul Mom: Amanda DelValle

This has been a LONG time coming, but I would like to formally congratulate one of my dearest old friends, new Kul Mom Amanda DelValle (Aka Mandi, Aka Lola), and her fiance, Blake Holden, on the birth of their precious baby boy, Dean. 

On March 25th, 2015 this beautiful woman...

 

brought this handsome little package into the world!  

Over the past few months Dean has just gotten cuter and cuter! 

He enjoys sleeping, and...

SMILING!!!

 

 Mandi has always been an extremely gifted artist. This new addition to her life brought inspiration to create more exquisite things; Dean is her adorable muse! 

 

 

It is clear that Mandi and Dean are a match made in heaven.

 

Amanda, you are glowing and gorgeous! I knew that you would make a wonderful mother, Dean is very fortunate to have such a fabulously loving family. 

 

May your little family continue to grow in strong love and may God bless you and Blake, that you may never lack anything you need as long as you all live!  

I can't wait until our little boys are old enough to play and become friends. 

The Most Important Job In the World

There is a lot of controversy concerning the most esteemed job position in the country. 

Most people would tell you that the President of the United States holds that title, because he is in charge of managing all of the big things that effect the seemingly mundane day-to-day life of the general public. Others would argue that the real power lies with those who have the most money; the CEOs of the corporations, who seem to have a foot in every door. Others still, would say that entertainers and athletes are vital to keeping us distracted from the stress of daily situations and lifting our spirits throughout the hardships we'll inevitably face.

Though those jobs are important, and the people who do them appreciated and recognized accordingly, there is one position that towers high above the rest. It is a job that, if we were fully informed of the requirements, hardly anyone would apply, let alone qualify, for.

If you guessed, parent, you are correct.

It is the most difficult thing a human being can do; the most incredibly ridiculous task that God bestows upon the ones He feels He can trust with the most prized possession in the Universe: a child.

Here is what the job description would look like:

Now hiring: well rounded individual available to work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Must be on call during all hours of the day. Must be punctual, responsive, honest, responsible, and work well under stress, pressure, and little to no sleep. Candidate must be 100 percent selfless, putting the needs of the designated new human before their own regardless of the circumstances. Problem solving skills and extreme patience are required, the candidate should also know basic first aid and must be able to effectively and efficiently manage emergency situations. Position listed requires superior organizational skills and the ability to multitask; experience in management is a plus. Love of music, exercise, and reading, basic psychological training, and basic cooking skills are preferred but not required. Above all, candidate must be loving, gentle and stern when needed, loyal, protective, dedicated, hard working, be able to persevere through nearly impossible odds, and expect the unexpected in any given place, at any given time. Must be willing to work for love that may or may not be unconditional depending on your new human. 

No further compensation will be offered.

Does that sound like something you would be up for?

If we are speaking honestly, most of us would say no pretty quick.

 

Being a parent is not for the faint of heart, and parents do not get nearly enough recognition or the respect they deserve. The job description basically describes a perfect person, and we are all very far from perfect. It seems like we are the group that is most criticized and scrutinized. Society is constantly watching and evaluating how we chose to raise the beautiful little creations we were blessed with, as if we were all given manuals the day they were born!

But the real question is, why are people paying so much attention?

Answer: parents are responsible for laying the foundation of the future.

We raise doctors, teachers, engineers, environmental activists, missionaries, pastors, judges, members of congress, CEOs, entertainers, athletes, and for a select few, future presidents of the country.

Every decision that we make regarding what we teach those little guys directly effects what our home will look like in the next 30 years. I still remember a campaign from elementary school where we learned the importance of taking care of the planet; to this day everyone I know turns off the water while brushing their teeth, which was one of the main things they taught us.

Unfortunately, most people think that because we have a well established public school system, the job of education is the responsibility of the government, but that is far from the truth. For starters, children learn everywhere, the first place being at home. You truly will be your kid's first teacher, whether you intend to teach them or not. What you do, they do, and how they act is based on a behavior they observed from the adults in their life. And secondly, once your child is of age for school, they will begin to learn what the government wants them to know, some of which are things that you do not agree with. The problem with that, is that the government is interested is raising citizens to fit in to society, which is not wrong. I am a product and a fan of the public school systems, but I can rest easy knowing that my son will learn the most important life lessons after school with me.

Ask yourself this: would you rather a child built by society or a society built by your child?

Your first thought when you picture a society constructed by your 3 year old, is probably a world where veggies have been outlawed, and streets are paved with edible candy tar so we can eat on the go. The thing to keep in mind is that they won't be 3 forever. Someday, their ideas will make sense, and people will actually take them seriously.

Parents have the power to create a culture in which everyone respects the rights of others, the hungry are fed instead of left to resort to negative means of providing a meal for themselves, and the weak and soft spoken are taken care of instead of taken advantage of.

The job of a PARENT is the most important IN THE WORLD because we set the stage for how life will play out for generations to come. 

It is not to be taken lightly. 

And those of us who are not parents (yet) still have the responsibility of being understanding of those who are doing an impossible job, and of being a good example to those little eyes that seem to notice everything!

Our future is in his tiny hand!

DIY Baby Food

As a young mother, I know better than anyone how difficult in can be to save money. Kids are their own people, and they come with their own needs and expenses. One way Pedro and I have managed to save HUNDREDS of dollars is by making our own baby food!

What I do is make our regular meals (lunch and dinner), I add about a cup of each dish, then I add a cup and a half of water and I blend it up in the Magic Bullet to the desired consistency.  I have been using the regular spices that the meal calls for ever since Nico started on mashed solids at about 6 months, and I have had no health problems (food allergies, upset stomach, etc.) with it at all! 

Best of all is that Nico loves it just as much as he likes Gerber. He has tried a variety of different meals which helped me avoid encouraging picky eating habits, and allows him to get all kinds of vitamins and minerals from diverse sources! 

Today for lunch he enjoyed Parmesan Crab Cake Bites with Cheddar Pasta and Beats! For dessert he had Cinnamon Banana Puree!

The recipes are simple:

Parmesan Crab Cake Bites with Cheddar Pasta and Beats

1 cup cheddar pasta

5 crab cake bites

1 half can of beats

1 1/2 cups of water

Mix all ingredients together and blend to desired consistency. 

Cinnamon Banana Puree

1 1/2 table spoons of cinnamon

3 bananas 

1 cup of milk

Mix all ingredients together and blend to desired consistency.