3 Ways to Strengthen Your Relationship

Life in 2015 is moving at warp speed! 

There is just so much to do in a day and it seems like the hours are falling away. Working, cleaning, keeping up with friends and family can all be exhausting. Not to mention, school will be starting again for many of us. With a schedule that is bursting at the seams, it is no wonder we often feel overwhelmed when we try to add a serious relationship to the mix.

Everyone knows that spending time with each other is an important part of being a healthy and happy couple. But, when we do find time to spare to be together it is usually spent dealing with the situations that present themselves in life. You argue, you plan, you contemplate, you reason, and still you might find your relationship is not as strong as it was when all you did was talk on the phone for hours about nothing. Relationships need regular maintenance. It is important to not let it fall beneath other things in your life that are far less meaningful.

When you feel interference with your emotional connection there are a few things you can do to mend the weakening bond.

1. Read the bible LOUD & PROUD - I know I have said this before, and I will probably say it again, because IT WORKS! You don't have to read the entire gospel of John, but do take the time to read a few verses out loud. For a steamy bible reading I recommend passages from Song of Songs.  Not only does reading aloud help adults fully understand the material being read, it also can improve our focus on other tasks. Paying attention to each other as you read makes you both feel important, understood, and it encourages positive communication. 

2. Take the same "chill pill" - Spend time cuddling and kissing, knowing that it will not escalate to sex. When you first started dating you used to do that all the time! You made out for the joy and excitement of kissing, there was passion and freedom behind it. Make out in the back of a dark movie theater, or before you leave for work! On your day off, lay together for a hour, kiss, and  occasionally talk about random passing thoughts.

 3. Define the relationship - Oh, the dreaded DTR. Most of you are probably cringing, thinking about relationship status conversations that have gone horribly wrong, and some of you probably can't stop smiling about the ones the didn't. For each milestone you and your significant other have passed, you have had a moment when you sit down to discuss the next step. This is not what I mean when I say DTR. You don't necessarily need to talk about life changing decisions. Simply tell each other your current feelings about the state of your relationship. If you are blissfully happy, share that! If you feel like you are headed in the right direction, the other person has a right to know! It can be encouraging to hear that your partner is feeling secure and satisfied. On the other had, if there is a problem, this can be a way to find a solution without it escalating into a fight or argument.

The important thing to keep in mind is that relationships are not always perfect. There are high highs and low lows, but fortunately you have the rest of your lives to find a balance and to create a nearly perfect harmony. 

Good Cop, Bad Cop

On July 17, 2014, Eric Garner died in Staten Island, New York, after a police officer put him in a chock hold. The tragedy was caught on tape, and Eric Garner was heard repeating the phrase "I can't breath" until he lost consciousness.

 

On August 9, 2014, 18-year-old Mike Brown was fatally shot by a police officer in Ferguson, Missouri, a suburb of St. Louis. His sudden death, at the hands of a law officer, caused violent protests.

Those are only two examples of the slew of negative stories regarding police officers in recent Media. It seems that people are being influenced to believe that all cops are violent, racist, selfish monsters who couldn't care less about the safety and well-being of the community. This new anti-cop mentality is causing people to act out all around the country. They are "taking matters into their own hands" by murdering innocent men who bravely put on their uniform everyday with the goal of protecting absolute strangers.

The deaths of those men were a terrible tragedy, as are all untimely deaths, and the men responsible NEED TO BE held accountable. It is important that murderers learn the value of ALL human life. 

 

On December 20, 2014, uniformed police officers Wenjian Liu and Rafael Ramos were fatally shot in their squad car in Brooklyn, New york. The double murder is still currently under investigation. 

The belief that all police officers are evil is ridiculous. 

All police officers are human. Are all humans racist? No, right? Therefore, we have reason to believe that not all cops judge others by the color of their skin. In fact, most police officers take their oaths very seriously and are just as appalled as the rest of us by what happened to Eric and Mike. I do not want my son to grow up thinking that he cannot turn to a police officer in an emergency situation.

No wife/husband should have to worry that their spouse is not going to return home simply because he/she wears a uniform and a badge. No child should be told that their mother/father is in heaven because of someone's ignorant vendetta against the police. 

Once again, I encourage everyone to start thinking for themselves. 

Is it simple to make a difference! 

All you really need to do is be respectful and know your rights. This goes for police and civilians alike.

Value EVERY human life!

ISIS Recruiting Teens

For those of us praying for peace in Syria, things have not improved by much, if anything they have worsened. The city is now a completely inhabitable ruin, and the fighting continues to rage on each day. 

The problem is that most of us are unaware of what ISIS even is. 

It stands for Islamic State in Iraq and Syria. Their goal is to create an Islamic state across Sunni areas of Iraq and in Syria. ISIS is the group of Islamic terrorists that have taken over much of Syria, forcing thousands of innocent people from their homes and murdering hundreds more.

What is worse is that they are beginning to recruit teenagers and young adults all around the world. They have propaganda in an estimated 23 languages so far, and the CIA has detained 15 teenagers in airports who were on their way to Syria to their "rightful place" with ISIS.

This group in KNOWN for being ruthless. They posted the graphic beheading of American captives publicly online, expressing no remorse. 

So, how are they getting youth to join?

Through effective social-media campaigns that promise devout Jihad spouses, and a home in a true Islamic State where they are free to devote their lives entirely to their religion and their God. 

The video looks a little something like this:

Let's not be so naive. 

Spread the word to everyone you can and inform them of the evils that ISIS has committed so that NO MORE youths are encouraged to join such a horrible group! 

Ignorance can infect an entire generation if we are not careful, knowledge is the only cure. 

It's Getting Hot In Here!

 

No, it's not just you, it is really getting warmer, and the United States is not the only country being affected. The World Meteorological Organisation reported that the global average land and sea surface temperatures for the first 10 months of 2014 had soared higher than ever recorded. WMO also reported that 14 of the 15 hottest years were recorded in the 21st century. 

Global Warming is no longer a crazy, extreme theory, as once believed by many!

Now that people have finally accepted it, what are people doing about it? 

The United Nations weather agency gathered in Lima to discuss climate change negotiations in attempts to prevent the temperatures from rising to dangerous levels. 

While that is a very good thing, we have to remember that it is NOT only up to them! 

It is up to humans to collectively realize this dangerous problem and work together on the solution. 

The best part is that the things we can do to help are so simple!

Tips on bringing downs the heat:

- Change your light bulbs in your home to Energy Star qualified products.

- Carpool to work with your coworkers. Make it fun by sharing breakfast pastries and coffee!

- And one that I hope we all know, REDUCE, REUSE, and RECYCLE!

 

White Rhinos

In case you have not heard, there are now only 6 White Rhinos left in existence since the death of a 34 year old male rhino on October 17. Once those 6 rhinos die, the African White Rhino will be extinct, meaning that there will be no more rhinos in the entire world. 

This means that Nico will only hear the stories of how there was once an animal called a rhino. 

This means that he will see them in pictures and be told that they aren't any more rhinos left.

This means that when he visits the zoo with his class, there will be no rhino exhibit. 

How many more species are we going to kill off before we realize that soon there will be no animals for the future generations to learn about or discover? 

How long before we learn to coexist with the animal kingdom for their benefit? 

Good bye White Rhinos! 

Let's not let this happen again.

5 Rules of Resolving Conflicts

The most important thing to remember, is that they would not call it a problem if it didn't have a solution. Always be willing to try to fix it by talking about it together, with in the relationship and try to do it quickly. The longer you take to work it out, the more an issue escalates, the more likely you will be to bring an outside opinion in to a personal matter. 

Most problems within a relationship usually stems from selfishness, on one or both parts. Christians have an advantage because we are taught to be selfless, as everyone should be. Marriage is about dying to yourself to be able to focus solely on the needs of your spouse. When someone steps away from that, and starts looking at what they want that they are not getting, that is when conflict arises. We are able to ask God to intervene, to help us internally and externally remove any selfish thoughts, feelings, and actions. By praying together as a couple, we can listen to each other in a kind of "safe zone" where no ones is judgmental or hurtful, and we can expect that he will come to the rescue. 

But not everyone has that benefit because not everyone believes in God. 

The good news is that there are 4 simple rules to follow that almost guarantees a fair "battle"

1. Restrain Your Anger - Most people find this the most difficult, however it is the most important rule. Remember that anger is only a symptom of your underlying feelings; try to figure out what those might be. You could be feeling fearful, frustrated, tired/fatigued, or rejected; get to the root of that emotion and talk about why you might be feeling that way together. 

2. Take "Time-outs"- Even boxers get a few moments of rest between rounds, why should it be any different for you and your spouse? If you feel that uncontrollable anger rising inside you again, respectfully tell your opponent that you need to take a break. Set the problem aside for a couple of hours, but ALWAYS be ready to pick up right where you left off. Never leave a conflict unresolved. 

3. Do Not Curse & No Name Calling - There are times when you would swear that they said or did something just to push your buttons, which makes you want to throw things at them, or maybe "love tap" them with your car, and shout a colorful variety of obscenities. You know what I'm talking about. No matter what they did, never resort to using mean words because words hurt. They can cause your spouse to close themselves off to you emotionally with out even realizing it, or they can make you want to give up and abandon any further attempts of repair. When you use hurtful language, you are disrespecting your better half. Would you talk to your mother like that? I didn't think so. 

4. Resolve it Privately - By this I mean, don't argue in front of other people, especially your children. Kids have no way of knowing how serious an argument is, that makes them worry and sometimes, act out. When you argue in front of other adults, you are bound to receive advise that you neither want or need. Or worse, that other adult might take sides! Talk about an unfair fight. Keep it behind closed doors, unless you have reached a point where you absolutely need an outside, unbiased opinion.

5. Leave The Past Behind You - Though it is tempting to throw old problems and mistakes in the other person's face, it is important not to. I am not saying that you should forget about what they did and how it affected the relationship, but don't bring it up during a fresh new fight. It counts as hitting bellow the belt. If you solved it once, don't make it a problem again.

If you are still having trouble after following these rules, these bible verses might bring you some clarity, whether you are Christian or not: Isaiah 1:19 & 20, Romans 15:1-4, James 3:1 & 2, James 3:16, Isaiah 41: 1-4, Ephesians 4:31 & 32, and 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8

Good luck! Never give up!