Throw Back Thursday!

Best friends since day 1! I can't believe it's been almost 4 years!!

Now that's a throwback!

PROM 2011!!

 I wonder if I still fit in this dress...

Sexy, wonderful man!

Does this little guy look familiar?!  

Hint: It's Nico!

Oh how time flies...

5 Lovely Ways to Celebrate LOVE

Love comes in many forms. It can be romantic, platonic, familiar, religious, or directed at the self.

Despite popular belief, one can celebrate this love EVERY DAY and in many different ways! 

=) With friends - This is always one of the most fun! Who says love has to be about romantic one-on-one occasions? Cheers to the people who are getting together with a few friends to have a good time! Spread the platonic love with little goody bags filled with candy! Nothing says I appreciate your friendship quite like chocolate.

 

<3 With significant other - You can take the traditional route and have a nice date with that "special someone." Get all dressed up and have dinner and watch a movie! I hear Jupiter Ascending was good. Try springing for a thoughtful or practical gift, something they can use for a while that will remind them of you!

>:) With family - They may drive you crazy, but at the end of the day you care a lot about your family. There is nothing wrong with spending the day with your parents, or with your children (pets count). There is no love more pure than that! The smiles of your toddler when you get to their favorite park will be well worth the trip. The laughter of your loved ones is better than any material present on Earth!

;) Alone - If you find yourself by yourself and maybe feeling a little down, stop those lonely thoughts right now! STOP! If you are going to find love you must first learn to love you! So today is a good day to get a manicure and a massage. Or get your favorite take out and watch all your favorite movies!

+ With Christ - When you think about it, there is no greater love than Christ has for his church,why not celebrate that? Dedicate part of your day to reading your bible and praying and then maybe find a way to volunteer. Jesus' second command was "Love your neighbor as yourself." 

Above all, remember the most important commandment given:

As I have loved you, love one another. John 13:34

3 Ways to Renew Your Love

Here you are with you significant other after a few years. 

You love each other dearly, but it seems like all you ever do together is stress and worry, even though life is made a little bit easier when you have someone to help you figure out how to live so that you both get the most out of the gift God has blessed us all with. 

The problem is that most of the time this gift of life doesn't seem much like a blessing at all.

After the bills are paid, the homework is done, the kids are asleep, and you've had dinner, you tend to lay down feeling more achy than you did when you woke up. 

As time passes, we all find ourselves burning out. The passion and lust that once consumed couples in the beginning of their relationship fades to a more necessary and secure form of love. Before you know it, you are in bed by ten reading together like those married couples in the movies and on TV. 

 

And all too soon, life is hum-drum and you feel, dare I say it, OLD. 

If only there were a time machine that could at least show you what you used to do for fun.

While we cannot avoid the inevitability of getting older, we CAN do things that make us feel young again, and we can do them with our significant other. Doing exciting new things together, and maybe a few harmless things you used to do, can renew love in a powerful way! 

Here is how:

1. Take Each Other Back - Once, long ago, you used to do something extra special for your significant other. You would buy her chocolates once a week, you would call him during your lunch break at work just to hear his voice, you always used to make breakfast together and sit down for a coffee. My recommendation is that you chose one of those things to do again! It doesn't have to become a consistent habit again (though it would be nice if it did) but a sweet gesture like that will make you remember and cherish the Puppy Love that brought you to where you are today! 

 

2. Teach Each Other Something New - In the beginning of our relationship, my husband Pedro was an avid skateboarder, and he was (and still is) very talented. Not only was it sexy when he would show off by doing tricks that his friends couldn't, but he would actually step off of his board to teach me how to ride; it was a HUGE turn on. In turn, back when he was not a Christian yet, I began taking him to church and teaching what I knew about Jesus and the bible. Those special moments that we spent together are priceless memories that we all have! They may not exactly be the same, but there was a time when you stepped out of your world into his/hers, and it was exhilarating! Recreate one of those memories, or make new ones! 

3. Fall in Love Again - I recently read an article that stated that love is a choice we make and that any two people can fall in love. The theory is that by asking a series of questions, 36 to be exact, in a romantic setting, a couple could create nonsexual intimacy and establish trust that would eventually grow in to respect and admiration. Begin a series of dates based around this theory. There are 3 sets of questions, so it  would take 3 romantic dates; for example a picnic in the park, a dinner out or in, making brunch together, going for a scenic drive, etc. You can even turn this into a craft by writing down the questions on decorated note cards! What do you have to lose? You're already in love, so this exercise could only push you deeper in your bond. Remember to ask the question even if you think you already know the answer, your partner may just surprise you! 

 

3 Ways to Strengthen Your Relationship

Life in 2015 is moving at warp speed! 

There is just so much to do in a day and it seems like the hours are falling away. Working, cleaning, keeping up with friends and family can all be exhausting. Not to mention, school will be starting again for many of us. With a schedule that is bursting at the seams, it is no wonder we often feel overwhelmed when we try to add a serious relationship to the mix.

Everyone knows that spending time with each other is an important part of being a healthy and happy couple. But, when we do find time to spare to be together it is usually spent dealing with the situations that present themselves in life. You argue, you plan, you contemplate, you reason, and still you might find your relationship is not as strong as it was when all you did was talk on the phone for hours about nothing. Relationships need regular maintenance. It is important to not let it fall beneath other things in your life that are far less meaningful.

When you feel interference with your emotional connection there are a few things you can do to mend the weakening bond.

1. Read the bible LOUD & PROUD - I know I have said this before, and I will probably say it again, because IT WORKS! You don't have to read the entire gospel of John, but do take the time to read a few verses out loud. For a steamy bible reading I recommend passages from Song of Songs.  Not only does reading aloud help adults fully understand the material being read, it also can improve our focus on other tasks. Paying attention to each other as you read makes you both feel important, understood, and it encourages positive communication. 

2. Take the same "chill pill" - Spend time cuddling and kissing, knowing that it will not escalate to sex. When you first started dating you used to do that all the time! You made out for the joy and excitement of kissing, there was passion and freedom behind it. Make out in the back of a dark movie theater, or before you leave for work! On your day off, lay together for a hour, kiss, and  occasionally talk about random passing thoughts.

 3. Define the relationship - Oh, the dreaded DTR. Most of you are probably cringing, thinking about relationship status conversations that have gone horribly wrong, and some of you probably can't stop smiling about the ones the didn't. For each milestone you and your significant other have passed, you have had a moment when you sit down to discuss the next step. This is not what I mean when I say DTR. You don't necessarily need to talk about life changing decisions. Simply tell each other your current feelings about the state of your relationship. If you are blissfully happy, share that! If you feel like you are headed in the right direction, the other person has a right to know! It can be encouraging to hear that your partner is feeling secure and satisfied. On the other had, if there is a problem, this can be a way to find a solution without it escalating into a fight or argument.

The important thing to keep in mind is that relationships are not always perfect. There are high highs and low lows, but fortunately you have the rest of your lives to find a balance and to create a nearly perfect harmony. 

The Perfect Movie Night In

When you have kids it can be hard to find time to go out. Heck, it can be hard for anyone these days to find time to date. Between work, school, errands, chores, kids, and pets (for some), finding time to spend with your significant other can get a little complicated. 

This is often true for Pedro and me. He works at night, I work/go to school during the day, and Nico takes up all of our time in between! We hardly have a moment alone, but when we do, we try to make the most of it. After all, the state of our relationship is important for a healthy family life and to give Nico a good example of what true love looks like. <3

Fortunately, there are many fun things to do at home, after the baby hits the crib for the night! 

This week, we had an amazing Netflix Movie Date! 

ON THE MENU: 

Soft Tacos!! 

Soft tacos are the perfect movie dinner! They are nutritious finger food that are fun to put together, and that don't distract you from the movie too much. It is a funny messy good time as you have folding competitions to see who can keep the most stuffing in their tortilla. 

Ingredients are simple: Tortillas, lettuce, tomato, 1lb ground beef, a can of pinto beans (to make re-fried beans), sour cream, and Mexican blend cheese. And, this is a great opportunity to use left over Taco Bell sauces!

ON THE MINI SCREEN: 

Bonnie and Clyde

This is a five star movie! Those of you who are romantics will enjoy the raw, unshakable love that kept these two together and fueled everything that they did! Those of you who would probably fall asleep if something doesn't blow up at least twice are also in luck, as Bonnie and Clyde were also fans of big guns that did immense damage.

ON ME:

Freshly washed hair and one of Pedro's old t-shirts

Men are honestly not very hard to impress! Often times, a clean natural look is sexier than heavy make-up and a tight dress. 

The hair style is quick: Step away from the straightener and hop in the shower, wash your hair, condition it with hair oils immediately when you finish towel drying! 

Then, raid his drawers! Find his favorite shirt and a comfy/sexy pair of undies or even his boxers. 

This is a date that does not require a bra! ;) 

Whether you stay it or go out, remember to appreciate each other and cherish your precious time together!

REAL Proof That God Exists

From the time that I found out I was going to have Nico when I was 18 years old, all I did was worry. People tend to make the mistake of assuming that because a girl is in her late teens, she is more mature in her ability to deal with the situation. 

I assure you that I was not. 

Pedro was unemployed, I only had a part time job, we were living in my mother's house, we were not married, and I was only in my second year of college. I honestly thought my life was over. I would have to quit school to get a full time job to be able to afford a place to live and all the things that a baby needed. Now, I realize that I should have had more faith, but I couldn't see past the things that society had told me about teenage mothers my entire life. 

I was terrified. 

But, Jesus really did come to our rescue. I don't mean that I prayed and some how found the strength, (it took MANY weeks of prayer for that to come) I mean that He literally rescued us! Real time, in our tangible world, He was doing things for Pedro and me that we could physically see! 

First of all, we found out about my pregnancy around Christmas time. What a wonderful present! 

Then, around the time of January, my mother received a large payment of back child support owed from my father, and she gave Pedro and I enough of it to get married and have a mini honeymoon in Disney World! 

AND, she agreed to pay the rent of our apartment if I agreed to stay in school and graduate! (I already had a full scholarship) 

Almost immediately, upon returning from our vacation Pedro found a secure full time job, and I with my part time job, it fit our needs almost perfectly! 

And on top of all this STILL God was working in our lives. As if all of that wasn't enough, He sent us absolutely EVERYTHING we would need for Nico for free! 

The clothes, the lotions, the books, the furniture for his room, the toys, the bottles, the bathtub; we did not need to buy diapers for Nico for the first 3 months of his life! It was incredibly mind blowing to me how He was there for us, even when we had such little faith. 

The most recent donation!

 

Amazingly, even now, He is still showering us with love and gifts. 

We STILL have not had to buy any clothes for Nico, over a year later! As he grows, generous loving people give us clothes that have been lightly used and that are in almost new conditions! Pants, shirts, sweaters, jackets, hats, socks, even shoes!

He even sent it to us according to my style taste! Look at how CUTE this outfit is!!

Received Sunday (Yesterday) 

 

I am sharing this testimony for the benefit of anyone who believes that Jesus is only an abstract idea. 

I want people to know that being unable to see Him, doesn't mean He can't see us! People think that God is far away in heaven, or that He has left us, but He hasn't, and I am giving you real live proof that He never will. 

If you ever doubted that He cares about us, this should put those doubts to rest. If He did this for me, He will do it for you. 

Why?

Because He loves us all the same, and He wants to bless us, even when we resist His love!

Sunday Dinner

Family meals should always be an important time for sharing your lives and bonding with your family. That does not mean that is has to be a serious time of deep conversation and reflection (though it can be); the important thing is that you spend time interacting with one another. 

It seems that all the technological advances over the years have resulted in children being more attached to the internet or video games then to their own parents. 

Dinner time can be a time to interrupt the constant distraction of electronics. 

TURN EVERY THING OFF!! 

And sit down to eat together, at least one meal a day where everyone is at the table.

Cooking a meal for your family does not have to be a time consuming and tedious task! Quick, simple meals can leave your family pleasantly surprised, entertained, and satisfied! 

This week, make your Sunday Dinner special by trying Asparagus and Sausage Carbonara 

INGREDIENTS:

• 1 tsp olive oil
• 1/2 lb thin asparagus, trimmed and cut into 3-inch pieces (about 2 cups)
• 2 large shallots, sliced
• 1/8 tsp sea salt
• 1/4 tsp fresh ground black pepper, divided, plus additional to taste
• 2 cloves garlic, chopped
• 2 3-oz links all-natural, cooked chicken sausage, diced
• 2 large eggs
• 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese, divided
• 8 oz whole-wheat spaghetti

1. Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Meanwhile, in a large nonstick skillet on medium-high, heat oil. Add asparagus, shallots, salt and 1/8 tsp pepper and sauté for about 4 minutes, stirring frequently, until lightly browned. Add 1/3 cup water and cook for 3 to 4 minutes more, until asparagus is crisp-tender and liquid evaporates. Reduce heat to low, add garlic and cook, stirring constantly, until garlic has softened, about 30 seconds. Transfer to a medium bowl.
2. Increase heat to medium and add sausage to skillet. Cook for about 3 minutes, stirring frequently, until lightly browned and heated through. Add to bowl with asparagus.
3. In a small bowl, whisk eggs. Stir in 1/4 cup cheese and 1/8 tsp pepper; set aside. To boiling water, add pasta and cook al dente according to package directions. Drain and return pasta to pot, off of the heat. Immediately add egg mixture to hot pasta and stir vigorously until thickened and creamy, about 1 minute. Add asparagus mixture and stir to combine. Season with additional pepper. Divide among serving bowls, top with remaining 1/4 cup cheese, dividing evenly.

**I used a Turkey Keilbasa sausage instead of a chicken sausage. Pedro and Nico both LOVED this!! I recommend it for anyone who is trying to convince their kids that veggies can be super yummy!**

Buen Provecho! =)

4 Affordable Dates for ANY Schedule

Most of us know by now that nurturing a strong and healthy relationship takes time, communication, love and respect. 

However, there is another important element that many people seem to overlook: companionship.  

As a couple, it is important to spend time together. Whether you are a new couple just getting to know each other, married with children, or have been married for decades, being together is what strengthens your bond. 

Though the concept is simple, to spend at least one night a week together, many people find this incredibly difficult to maintain. There are millions of excuse and intrusions that can pull us away from enjoying our soul mate. One of the most common excuses among the couples that I talk to, is that they don't have the time or the money to have a date night every week.

I have to disagree! 

With a little creativity and effort, any one can have a Date Night once a week on any budget. To get the gears in motion here are 4 romantic dates that won't break the bank, and that won't takes weeks of elaborate planning. 

1. Movies & S'mores! - After the kids have gone to bed bust out the grown up treats! That's right, the marshmallows and mini Hershey bar; it's S'mores time!! First place the chocolate on the gram cracker followed by a marshmallow. Make as many as you want together, 6, maybe 10 if you have a sweet tooth like me! Put them in the oven to broil for about a minute then cover with the other crack, flattening your gooey sandwich. As the s'mores chill in the freezer, pick out 2 movies that you each want to see. For added fun the movie could be a complete surprise to your partner! Whatever the other picks is mandatory for the other to watch, so make it good.
Supplies: Chocolate bars $3, marshmallows $2, gram crackers $2.50
NO BABYSITTER REQUIRED!!!

2. Sunset picnic - Drive out to an area that is well known for a guaranteed amazing sunset view and wait for a clear evening. Make a nice simple meal, pack it up, and enjoy a beautiful sunset dinner! You can even light candles if it is not a windy day. Spend a couple hours enjoying a relaxing adult conversation, without the distractions of home. 
Supplies: Gas, dinner, dinner containers/basket, blanket, candles (optional)
BABYSITTER REQUIRED

3. Road Trip Dinner - Pick a nice (or nice-ish) restaurant that is atleast 45 minutes away to have dinner at. Enjoy the drive with each other talking, listening to music, playing car games, etc. This can be a great way to bond and it is a wonderful opportunity for a deep meaningful conversation, or a lighthearted good time! It could even be fun to bring the kids along on this one for a meaningful family bonding, with one condition, NO ELECTRONICS ALLOWED! (Except for the GPS of course.)
Supplies: Gas, money for dinner
BABYSITTER OPTIONAL

4.Chapter by Chapter - Go to the local book store and spend sometime picking out a book together. Then after the kids have gone to bed, cuddle up and read a chapter aloud. This will only be boring if you pick out a boring book! Make it a page turning mystery novel, or a cool action sci-fi adventure! Depending on how long the book is, this can provide weeks of Date Night fun! You might even find that this is something you want to start doing every night, which would be especially helpful to your relationship if the book you choose is the bible! 
Supplies: Book, cuddle/reading spot
NO BABYSITTER REQUIRED!!!

5 Rules of Resolving Conflicts

The most important thing to remember, is that they would not call it a problem if it didn't have a solution. Always be willing to try to fix it by talking about it together, with in the relationship and try to do it quickly. The longer you take to work it out, the more an issue escalates, the more likely you will be to bring an outside opinion in to a personal matter. 

Most problems within a relationship usually stems from selfishness, on one or both parts. Christians have an advantage because we are taught to be selfless, as everyone should be. Marriage is about dying to yourself to be able to focus solely on the needs of your spouse. When someone steps away from that, and starts looking at what they want that they are not getting, that is when conflict arises. We are able to ask God to intervene, to help us internally and externally remove any selfish thoughts, feelings, and actions. By praying together as a couple, we can listen to each other in a kind of "safe zone" where no ones is judgmental or hurtful, and we can expect that he will come to the rescue. 

But not everyone has that benefit because not everyone believes in God. 

The good news is that there are 4 simple rules to follow that almost guarantees a fair "battle"

1. Restrain Your Anger - Most people find this the most difficult, however it is the most important rule. Remember that anger is only a symptom of your underlying feelings; try to figure out what those might be. You could be feeling fearful, frustrated, tired/fatigued, or rejected; get to the root of that emotion and talk about why you might be feeling that way together. 

2. Take "Time-outs"- Even boxers get a few moments of rest between rounds, why should it be any different for you and your spouse? If you feel that uncontrollable anger rising inside you again, respectfully tell your opponent that you need to take a break. Set the problem aside for a couple of hours, but ALWAYS be ready to pick up right where you left off. Never leave a conflict unresolved. 

3. Do Not Curse & No Name Calling - There are times when you would swear that they said or did something just to push your buttons, which makes you want to throw things at them, or maybe "love tap" them with your car, and shout a colorful variety of obscenities. You know what I'm talking about. No matter what they did, never resort to using mean words because words hurt. They can cause your spouse to close themselves off to you emotionally with out even realizing it, or they can make you want to give up and abandon any further attempts of repair. When you use hurtful language, you are disrespecting your better half. Would you talk to your mother like that? I didn't think so. 

4. Resolve it Privately - By this I mean, don't argue in front of other people, especially your children. Kids have no way of knowing how serious an argument is, that makes them worry and sometimes, act out. When you argue in front of other adults, you are bound to receive advise that you neither want or need. Or worse, that other adult might take sides! Talk about an unfair fight. Keep it behind closed doors, unless you have reached a point where you absolutely need an outside, unbiased opinion.

5. Leave The Past Behind You - Though it is tempting to throw old problems and mistakes in the other person's face, it is important not to. I am not saying that you should forget about what they did and how it affected the relationship, but don't bring it up during a fresh new fight. It counts as hitting bellow the belt. If you solved it once, don't make it a problem again.

If you are still having trouble after following these rules, these bible verses might bring you some clarity, whether you are Christian or not: Isaiah 1:19 & 20, Romans 15:1-4, James 3:1 & 2, James 3:16, Isaiah 41: 1-4, Ephesians 4:31 & 32, and 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8

Good luck! Never give up!

When Parents Turn to Murder: Issy

When I began to read the article on The Daily Beast about a mother, Kelli Stapleton, who tried to kill her autistic daughter, Issy, my first thought was, how could any mom feel such strong feelings against their own child? Strong enough to want to murder them? Even in the most extreme case, I feel that the love that a mother has for her child is strong enough to overcome any desire to murder anyone for risk of losing that child. 

In this case, people were upset because Kelli was being understood by Dr. Phil as he interviewed her trying to gain perspective and insight. 

Issy Stapleton has autism, and her mother was feeling overwhelmed. She was at the end of her rope, but does that really excuse what she tried to do? No. 

I do not know what it is like to have a child with autism, because I have never gone through the experience. But I have know many people with autism. 

My first encounter was when I was in the 6th grade. There was a red headed boy named Carl, who was a little different from the other kids. I noticed that he did things differently, and he interacted differently. A lot of my friend made fun of him, or tried to avoid him, but I was curios and sympathetic. I talked to him and often sat at his table in class. As a result of that, my teacher would often place him with me during group activities because I was more sensitive to his condition (which I was unaware of at the time). It was not until we were doing a science experiment that involved a golf ball that I truly understood that he had a disability. We had a disagreement regarding the next steps that should be followed and he ended up throwing the golf ball at my hand. I was upset, but more than anything I was confused. Finally, the teacher pulled me aside and explained to me that Carl has autism and that he thinks differently than everyone else, because of that he dealt with things differently and sometimes irrationally when he did not know how to express himself. 

Later on in middle school, I met another kid with autism. Him name was Brandon. I was interested in him because he was cute and funny. Sure he was a little different, but the curious thing about Brandon was that I had no idea that he had autism until he actually told me. Which didn't really change how I felt about him. Of course I never said anything about my little crush because I was a shy kid, but we remained friends and still talk occasionally on Facebook to this day. 

My point is, the solution to autism is awareness. People fear and reject what they do not understand. I am not saying that Kelli was not doing the best that she could, but there is always another way to deal with a person in that situation. Sometimes, instead of trying to pull them into our world, we should try to step into theirs.

Also, don't try to kill your child! Never ever! If you feel overwhelmed, like you don't want to deal with them anymore, there are plenty of other things you can do. Adoption, foster care, leaving them with a responsible loving family member. All are much more SANE alternatives than trying to kill yourself and your kid.

You can watch part of the episode below and decide for yourself. 

Father & Me Friday

Happy Father & Me Friday to all the Kul Dad's out there! 

In honor of FMF here a few of my favorite pictures of my favorite men! 

Welcome New Kul Mom: Emily Delvalle

Congratulations to Emily, who officially became a Kul Mom on Sep. 11, 2014, and to her boyfriend Zach! 

This is their little bundle of joy, Lily Raquel Johnson! She weighed 6 pounds 1 ounce and she came to them with a full head of hair!  

They created such a beautiful baby girl! 

Welcome to the world Lily! 

And welcome to mommy hood, Emily!

Married at 18

My husband Pedro and I met in the last semester of our senior year of high school in 2011, in Puerto Rico, in a crowded classroom that I was afraid to walk in to. He invited me to hang out with him and his friends the day we met, and some how I ended up giving him my phone number. He called me that night and we ended up talking for hours. Next thing you know, we are going to prom together. 

He is my best friend. Though he drives me absolutely crazy sometimes, I could not imagine life with out him. I have spent some of the best days of my life so far with him. 

He loves me at my best, and at my worst.

 We spent 3 months in a long distance when he moved in with his friend back in his home town in West Virginia. When I went to visit my best friend in Raleigh, NC, he drove 8 hours to spend 2 days camping with my friends and me. 

When he got back, we were a little too happy to see each other, we ended up making Nico. But he was excited because it meant that we could get married much sooner than I had planned. We went to florida, got married by a Rabbi staying at our hotel, and spent the rest of the week in Disney World. 

We are not rich but we are happy. He is a full time dish washer at Denny's who plans on becoming a professional Rally racer, I fully support his dream. I am a part time bagger, full time student, who plans on writing and producing books and movies, he fully supports my dream. That is what is important.