Inspiring Youth: Christian Gould

If you find yourself in need of some inspiration or motivation to kick off this year, allow me to introduce an old friend of mine, Christian Gould.

Christian and I go way back! We met in the 7th grade in middle school through a mutual friend, and let me say, I realized how unique he was right from the start! Christian was fun to be around, and anyone can tell you that his energetic, positive personality is infectious! It is difficult to frown in his presence, as he has the unique ability to make anyone laugh. 


On a trip a few of my friends and I took in the 8th grade to Busch Gardens, he was the only one who did not back down from the big rides! He spent most of his time there encouraging us to be brave, to face the biggest roller-coaster in the park, of course we HAD to ride in the very FRONT row!

After middle school, Christian began high school in North Carolina. As a result of the difficulties he faced in high school, his mother thought a change of scenery would be the best thing for him. With only one and a half months of his junior year to complete, he began a new chapter of his life in Wellington, Florida with his father.

In Florida, Christian made friends with nearly everyone he met! That contagious joyful energy allowed him to make the best out of any situation. After completing high school, he studied briefly at Palm Beach State College, though he soon realized that college was not for him. He had ambitions to work in Foreign Currency Exchange, and he understood that hard work is the key to any kind of success. By the time he was 20 years old, Christian had three part-time jobs; a teller at the Bank of America, sales associate at Nordstrom, and sales associate at Advance Auto Parts. Though he was incredibly busy, he still made time to maintain nurture his friendships, nearby and thousands of miles away. 

Then suddenly, his life was turned upside down. On November 21, 2014 tragedy struck. Christian was on his way home that night when he lost control of his car due to inclement weather. He hit three oak trees before his car finally came to its resting point. Because he was alone, no one knows exactly what time the accident occurred; it was finally called in by a passerby (or guardian angel if you will) at 2am. He was intubated at the scene and rushed to St. Mary's Trauma Medical Center in West Palm Beach, FL. Christian had a badly ruptured spleen, severe head trauma, cracked T1 & T2 vertebrae, 2 cracked ribs, cracked sternum, compound fracture of the left femur that broke through skin, 2 fractures on and above his knee, broken jaw both sides with the left side being displaced by an inch. 

Fortunately, it was not yet his time. Miraculously, Christian's life was spared! He stabilized, and began to fight through his injuries, determined to make a full recovery. On his 16th day in the Trauma Ward, he surprised everyone by opening his eyes!

He started responding to commands almost immediately, showing that the vibrant Christian we know and love was still here! Two days after Christmas, when they took him off the ventilator and plugged the end of the trachea tube he defied all odds when he said "Hi Mom". 

Christian and his mother, Laura Gould-White, before the accident

It was then that we all realized, there was nothing holding him back. Since that day, he began physical therapy. Not only has he sat in a chair, but Christian is now WALKING with the aid of a walker and a physical trainer, and wheeling him self through the hospital halls.

Despite all of his hardships, he is so very grateful to be alive and to have been given a second chance to make something out of himself. He has mentioned to his mother, Laura Gould-White, that he wants to be an anesthesiologist and now realizes how precious the gift of life and you can lose it at the blink of an eye! This remarkable young man, has not stopped smiling, even as he spent New Year in a hospital bed. 

Very soon, he and his family will be able to kiss St Marys Trauma Center goodbye with an endless amount of love and gratitude! God truly has amazing plans for this remarkable young man! 

Race for the Cure

The process has been costly for him and his family. He has come such a long way, but still has hours of physical therapy ahead of him. He needs financial support now more that ever, and there is really no one who deserves it more. 

Christian has an established active Fund Raiser at http://www.gofundme.com/j62idg 

Please take the time to make a donation of ANY amount, every penny helps! 

The next time you have doubts about your ability to reach your New Year's Resolution, remember Christian Gould. 
He is living proof that ANYTHING is possible. 

Much Needed "Me Time"

This time of year has to be one of the most stressful of all. On top of everything else you normally do, add making lists of things to get people, shopping for hours, cooking for hours, extra holiday cleaning, and so on for what seems like forever! 

I don't know about you, but all of the additional little tasks have me pretty tightly wound. It can be more difficult than ever to find time for yourself, to relax, which makes it more important than ever! Sleep is simply not enough anymore, as I find myself waking up sore and stiff.  

In order to feel better throughout the day we have to focus on establishing a time of rest for our bodies and souls. 

Fortunately there are 3 minor things that we can do to keep our batteries fully charged!

1. Devotional first thing in the morning - What is the first thing that comes to mind when you wake up in the morning? Usually, a long list of things you have to get done! What if, you turned off those automatic reminders, and tuned in to the Lord? Instead of casting all of those burdens and worries on to your own shoulders, remember that God is present and in control of EVERY situation. He cares about the things that trouble us throughout the day! Upon waking up, pray, and ask him to help you to relax, because He has it all in His capable hands. I like to use the YouVersion Bible App because it has endless devotions to help you listen to, and become aware of what God is trying to tell you today; which is far more important than what you will have for breakfast.

2. Stretch!!! - As I mentioned before, I have recently found myself waking up in worse shape than I was in when I went to sleep! The stresses of work, home life, and these end-of-year holidays have finally caught up to me. As a result, I found relief in an extremely mild daily exercise. If yoga is not your thing (it is definitely NOT mine) stretching works just as well! I found a video that works for me on YouTube; it is the first thing I do after my time with the Lord and it has gradually been loosening my tight muscles! 

3. Do something mindless - No, I don't mean go out and do something crazy and reckless just because you can! By mindless, I mean, do something that does not required much though or concentration, something that makes you feel good! I like to buy a cheap fun color of nail polish (97 cents for NYC Color at Walmart) to do my nails. It is easy, relaxing, and it forces me to stop for a minute to recollect my tranquility. It also makes me feel pretty! If you don't like to do your nails, pick your favorite song and listen to it without doing anything else. Close your eyes, and enjoy yourself!

 

When life gets overwhelming take a few steps back, and a couple hundred deep breaths! 

Things always get better!

When Parents Turn to Murder: Alexis

As many of you know, the month of October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. In order to raise awareness, this week I would like to tell the story of Alexis and her mother, Victoria.

Victoria was a victim of regular, brutal domestic dating violence. Her boyfriend, Freddy Mendez, would repeatedly beat her during arguments and force her to do ridiculous things for him. In one video she speaks about one of the instances of abuse where he punched her repeatedly in the face, threw her in the pool, dragged her out, punched her repeatedly again, shoved her into the closet, and then told her to go make him a sandwich.

One day, he began beating Alexis, Victoria's 3 year old daughter, and he did not stop until she was dead.

Victoria said she stood by holding her 7 month old son, yelling at Freddy, trying to get him to stop. When he finally did, she was left to "take care" of the lifeless little girl. 

Freddy was sentenced to life in prison with no possibility of parole, and Victoria was sentenced to 35 years in prison for "allowing" the abuse, which escalated to murder. But after serving only 2 years, the judge decided to release her. Many people were appalled by his decision.

This country has made a habit of turning battered women into criminals for failing to protect their children in situations such as this one. Many of them face between 20 and 40 years of prison time. 

I believe that there is always something you can do to get your child out of danger. I would even go to the extreme of killing anyone who is physically threatening the life of my son.

But every woman is different. 

I don't think that a woman who lives in constant fear can be expected to make rational decisions, and I don't think that they should be considered in their right state of mind. Who knows how much head trauma they themselves have faced, who knows how much emotional and psychological abuse they have endured.  Many of them have been brainwashed in to thinking that they are worthless and powerless by men who are obviously crazy and manipulative. 

Everyone deserves a second chance. The judge's decision only means that Victoria can grieve her daughter, get her life back on track, seek the help she needs and try to focus on regaining custody of her son and providing him with a better life.

This does not mean that I excuse the child abuse.

Like I mentioned before, there are always ways to keep your baby safe. Leave them in the care of a trusted adult, teach them to call 911, encourage them to tell someone who you know will help, find a hiding place for them in the house that only you know about, physically defend them even if it means getting hurt yourself, or my personal favorite, get out and get help! 

Remember, these women are not alone!

 If you see children with multiple bruises, report it; better safe than sorry. If you hear your neighbors arguing a little too violently, report it. If you see a man (or woman) treating their partner or child harshly in public, report it. If you see a woman with multiple bruises, report it. 

In this world, we have to take care of each other. Together, we CAN...

When Parents Turn to Murder: Issy

When I began to read the article on The Daily Beast about a mother, Kelli Stapleton, who tried to kill her autistic daughter, Issy, my first thought was, how could any mom feel such strong feelings against their own child? Strong enough to want to murder them? Even in the most extreme case, I feel that the love that a mother has for her child is strong enough to overcome any desire to murder anyone for risk of losing that child. 

In this case, people were upset because Kelli was being understood by Dr. Phil as he interviewed her trying to gain perspective and insight. 

Issy Stapleton has autism, and her mother was feeling overwhelmed. She was at the end of her rope, but does that really excuse what she tried to do? No. 

I do not know what it is like to have a child with autism, because I have never gone through the experience. But I have know many people with autism. 

My first encounter was when I was in the 6th grade. There was a red headed boy named Carl, who was a little different from the other kids. I noticed that he did things differently, and he interacted differently. A lot of my friend made fun of him, or tried to avoid him, but I was curios and sympathetic. I talked to him and often sat at his table in class. As a result of that, my teacher would often place him with me during group activities because I was more sensitive to his condition (which I was unaware of at the time). It was not until we were doing a science experiment that involved a golf ball that I truly understood that he had a disability. We had a disagreement regarding the next steps that should be followed and he ended up throwing the golf ball at my hand. I was upset, but more than anything I was confused. Finally, the teacher pulled me aside and explained to me that Carl has autism and that he thinks differently than everyone else, because of that he dealt with things differently and sometimes irrationally when he did not know how to express himself. 

Later on in middle school, I met another kid with autism. Him name was Brandon. I was interested in him because he was cute and funny. Sure he was a little different, but the curious thing about Brandon was that I had no idea that he had autism until he actually told me. Which didn't really change how I felt about him. Of course I never said anything about my little crush because I was a shy kid, but we remained friends and still talk occasionally on Facebook to this day. 

My point is, the solution to autism is awareness. People fear and reject what they do not understand. I am not saying that Kelli was not doing the best that she could, but there is always another way to deal with a person in that situation. Sometimes, instead of trying to pull them into our world, we should try to step into theirs.

Also, don't try to kill your child! Never ever! If you feel overwhelmed, like you don't want to deal with them anymore, there are plenty of other things you can do. Adoption, foster care, leaving them with a responsible loving family member. All are much more SANE alternatives than trying to kill yourself and your kid.

You can watch part of the episode below and decide for yourself. 

Overcoming the Pain

(Picture of Pedro and me after getting baptized)

As I read over my last blog post, I realized that I skimmed over the general situation, but I never really explained how I managed to not be swallowed by the extreme discomfort that I have been feeling for the past several days. 

As many of you know, I am Christian. I attend church regularly and I enjoy volunteering as a Sunday School Teacher Helper every other month. I am only explaining this because my faith in Jesus Christ is what helped me to overcome that terrible situation. 

There were moments when there was nothing else that would get through mind. I would be in agony, wondering when it was going to be over and if the worst part was yet to come.

It all changed one day when I was laying on the couch. The window was open and a delightful breeze filled the apartment, and Nico was playing happily in front of me. The sky was its regular shade of impossible blue, and I remember thinking, "What a beautiful day to be in excruciating pain." In Puerto Rico, weather can vary. Some days can be sticky and hot, while others can be rainy and windy. But on occasion, there is a nearly perfect day. The wind blows just enough, the sun is hot burning too hot, and there is peace and calm in the air. 

Of all the days for me to get sick, it happened to be on a perfect day. As I continued to think about it, I realized that God was doing things and setting things up so that I could recover in the best way possible. In those moments of pain it was extremely difficult to see, but in a moment of clarity, I found that I had so much to be thankful for, and that God would not forsake me. He sent me an amazing husband who cared for me and Nico in every way that we needed and more. He sent me a great baby who was never difficult or mean spirited. 

Most importantly though, I was grateful that I would not have to feel that way forever. I did not know why I was experiencing a miscarriage, but I did know that eventually I would feel better. I was so grateful that the pain was not my everyday reality and I felt like I needed to let Him know that. After I thanked Him, I realized that if he had the power to create the Universe and the compassion to breathe ecosystems into existence, then He certainly loves me enough to help me when I cry out to Him. 

I began to declare in His name that I was healed and I began to thank Him over and over for my wellness. Nothing worked better in healing me than praising the name of Jesus.