"Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice." - Wayne Dyer


Wednesday, January 14, 2015

3 Ways to Strengthen Your Relationship

Life in 2015 is moving at warp speed! 

There is just so much to do in a day and it seems like the hours are falling away. Working, cleaning, keeping up with friends and family can all be exhausting. Not to mention, school will be starting again for many of us. With a schedule that is bursting at the seams, it is no wonder we often feel overwhelmed when we try to add a serious relationship to the mix.

Everyone knows that spending time with each other is an important part of being a healthy and happy couple. But, when we do find time to spare to be together it is usually spent dealing with the situations that present themselves in life. You argue, you plan, you contemplate, you reason, and still you might find your relationship is not as strong as it was when all you did was talk on the phone for hours about nothing. Relationships need regular maintenance. It is important to not let it fall beneath other things in your life that are far less meaningful.

When you feel interference with your emotional connection there are a few things you can do to mend the weakening bond.

1. Read the bible LOUD & PROUD - I know I have said this before, and I will probably say it again, because IT WORKS! You don't have to read the entire gospel of John, but do take the time to read a few verses out loud. For a steamy bible reading I recommend passages from Song of Songs.  Not only does reading aloud help adults fully understand the material being read, it also can improve our focus on other tasks. Paying attention to each other as you read makes you both feel important, understood, and it encourages positive communication. 

2. Take the same "chill pill" - Spend time cuddling and kissing, knowing that it will not escalate to sex. When you first started dating you used to do that all the time! You made out for the joy and excitement of kissing, there was passion and freedom behind it. Make out in the back of a dark movie theater, or before you leave for work! On your day off, lay together for a hour, kiss, and  occasionally talk about random passing thoughts.

 3. Define the relationship - Oh, the dreaded DTR. Most of you are probably cringing, thinking about relationship status conversations that have gone horribly wrong, and some of you probably can't stop smiling about the ones the didn't. For each milestone you and your significant other have passed, you have had a moment when you sit down to discuss the next step. This is not what I mean when I say DTR. You don't necessarily need to talk about life changing decisions. Simply tell each other your current feelings about the state of your relationship. If you are blissfully happy, share that! If you feel like you are headed in the right direction, the other person has a right to know! It can be encouraging to hear that your partner is feeling secure and satisfied. On the other had, if there is a problem, this can be a way to find a solution without it escalating into a fight or argument.

The important thing to keep in mind is that relationships are not always perfect. There are high highs and low lows, but fortunately you have the rest of your lives to find a balance and to create a nearly perfect harmony. 

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