(Picture of Pedro and me after getting baptized)
As I read over my last blog post, I realized that I skimmed over the general situation, but I never really explained how I managed to not be swallowed by the extreme discomfort that I have been feeling for the past several days.
As many of you know, I am Christian. I attend church regularly and I enjoy volunteering as a Sunday School Teacher Helper every other month. I am only explaining this because my faith in Jesus Christ is what helped me to overcome that terrible situation.
There were moments when there was nothing else that would get through mind. I would be in agony, wondering when it was going to be over and if the worst part was yet to come.
It all changed one day when I was laying on the couch. The window was open and a delightful breeze filled the apartment, and Nico was playing happily in front of me. The sky was its regular shade of impossible blue, and I remember thinking, "What a beautiful day to be in excruciating pain." In Puerto Rico, weather can vary. Some days can be sticky and hot, while others can be rainy and windy. But on occasion, there is a nearly perfect day. The wind blows just enough, the sun is hot burning too hot, and there is peace and calm in the air.
Of all the days for me to get sick, it happened to be on a perfect day. As I continued to think about it, I realized that God was doing things and setting things up so that I could recover in the best way possible. In those moments of pain it was extremely difficult to see, but in a moment of clarity, I found that I had so much to be thankful for, and that God would not forsake me. He sent me an amazing husband who cared for me and Nico in every way that we needed and more. He sent me a great baby who was never difficult or mean spirited.
Most importantly though, I was grateful that I would not have to feel that way forever. I did not know why I was experiencing a miscarriage, but I did know that eventually I would feel better. I was so grateful that the pain was not my everyday reality and I felt like I needed to let Him know that. After I thanked Him, I realized that if he had the power to create the Universe and the compassion to breathe ecosystems into existence, then He certainly loves me enough to help me when I cry out to Him.
I began to declare in His name that I was healed and I began to thank Him over and over for my wellness. Nothing worked better in healing me than praising the name of Jesus.