"Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice." - Wayne Dyer


Thursday, October 2, 2014

When Parents Turn to Murder: Issy

When I began to read the article on The Daily Beast about a mother, Kelli Stapleton, who tried to kill her autistic daughter, Issy, my first thought was, how could any mom feel such strong feelings against their own child? Strong enough to want to murder them? Even in the most extreme case, I feel that the love that a mother has for her child is strong enough to overcome any desire to murder anyone for risk of losing that child. 

In this case, people were upset because Kelli was being understood by Dr. Phil as he interviewed her trying to gain perspective and insight. 

Issy Stapleton has autism, and her mother was feeling overwhelmed. She was at the end of her rope, but does that really excuse what she tried to do? No. 

I do not know what it is like to have a child with autism, because I have never gone through the experience. But I have know many people with autism. 

My first encounter was when I was in the 6th grade. There was a red headed boy named Carl, who was a little different from the other kids. I noticed that he did things differently, and he interacted differently. A lot of my friend made fun of him, or tried to avoid him, but I was curios and sympathetic. I talked to him and often sat at his table in class. As a result of that, my teacher would often place him with me during group activities because I was more sensitive to his condition (which I was unaware of at the time). It was not until we were doing a science experiment that involved a golf ball that I truly understood that he had a disability. We had a disagreement regarding the next steps that should be followed and he ended up throwing the golf ball at my hand. I was upset, but more than anything I was confused. Finally, the teacher pulled me aside and explained to me that Carl has autism and that he thinks differently than everyone else, because of that he dealt with things differently and sometimes irrationally when he did not know how to express himself. 

Later on in middle school, I met another kid with autism. Him name was Brandon. I was interested in him because he was cute and funny. Sure he was a little different, but the curious thing about Brandon was that I had no idea that he had autism until he actually told me. Which didn't really change how I felt about him. Of course I never said anything about my little crush because I was a shy kid, but we remained friends and still talk occasionally on Facebook to this day. 

My point is, the solution to autism is awareness. People fear and reject what they do not understand. I am not saying that Kelli was not doing the best that she could, but there is always another way to deal with a person in that situation. Sometimes, instead of trying to pull them into our world, we should try to step into theirs.

Also, don't try to kill your child! Never ever! If you feel overwhelmed, like you don't want to deal with them anymore, there are plenty of other things you can do. Adoption, foster care, leaving them with a responsible loving family member. All are much more SANE alternatives than trying to kill yourself and your kid.

You can watch part of the episode below and decide for yourself. 

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